Had some struggles this weekend. This goes along with the saying, "You are either about to enter a storm, going through a storm, or coming out of a storm." Hopefully this is the coming out of the storm part.
Just suffice to say that I have been and am going through some trials in my life. God has taught me some things while going through these trials not the least of which is joy. I am not talking about joy because "I got a new car" joy or "I got a raise" joy but a joy that endures. I talking about the joy that not based on money, good fortune, or lack of hard times. I am talking about a joy that endures when everything falls apart, everything seems to go wrong, and nothing goes as planned.
To quote Charles Swindoll in Laugh Again, Experience Outrageous Joy (an amazing find at the bargain book store) "I know of no greater need today than the need for joy. Unexplainable, contagious joy. Outrageous joy." Unexplainable, contagious joy. I like that. I want that. I need that.
So this is me repenting of my recent lack of joy. Yes, lack of joy is a sin because when it comes down to it the ability to maintain joy is a matter of choice. I can choose to be remain unhappy or I can choose to rejoice in God. To quote Charles Swindoll again, "People who choose joy pay no attention to what day of the week it is..or how old they are...what level of pain they are in. They have deliberately decided to laugh again because they have chosen joy. People who do not choose joy miss the relief laughter can bring. And because they do not, they cannot. And because they do not, they cannot. And because they can't, they won't. Which one are you?" Today, I repent of my lack of joy. Today, I chose joy.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
...just a little bit
*Warning! Contains potential spoilers*
I had a fun weekend with my mom and sister when they came to visit this past weekend. We ate out--probably way too much, went to a concert, and took in a couple of movies. The first movie was Eat Pray Love starring Julia Roberts. Eat Pray Love is based on Elizabeth Gilbert's memoirs about her year-long journey around the world to discover her life's meaning.
The movie was refreshingly not the usual stereotypical romance/chick flick. Eat Pray Love appears to convincingly show one woman's progress towards inner peace through divorce, meditation, and abroad.
As I said, I enjoyed the movie as it shows the inner journey one woman experienced. Eat Pray Love is as heartwarming as it is eye opening to the meshing of cultures, religions, and paradigms. It speaks to the increasingly spiritual but not necessarily religious culture we live in today. Of course the lens I encounter the world through relates how the spiritual material matches up with my belief that Christ is the only way to inner peace so I disagree fundamentally with the premise that you have to "find" yourself in gurus, meditation, or other religious practice. Yet, in all honesty, I considered how I could easily allow myself to sit in the theater for 2 hours and merely "feel good" and be entertained.
I also considered the sermon I recently watched online from Craig Groeschel titled Toxic, where Craig explains that some of the things we ingest in culture--movies, music, etc are poison. He also equates this to if we made a batch of brownies and put just a little bit of dog poop in them. Most of us would say, "Dog poop. Ew gross!" Even if it's just a little bit, most people would agree just a little bit of dog poop is still gross.
So I would say I watched Eat Pray Love, was entertained by it, got a few "warm fuzzies" from its heart warming message, at times was even challenged in my thinking but did not allow myself to digest it in its entirety. I was aware enough to realize that I find meaning in Christ alone--not in relationships, religion, or meditation. So in my humble opinion, Eat Pray Love contained a little dog poop--just a little bit.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Way of Love
...because the Word says it so much better than I ever could...
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. 8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. 11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. 12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 13, The Message)
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. 8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. 11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. 12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. (1 Corinthians 13, The Message)
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
A work uncomplete
~ No relationship in life can be any more successful than what we are willing to learn about ourselves through it. The moment we turn our back on what others give us to see about ourselves, we not only walk away from what we need to see, but also from the better person we could be . . . were we only willing to learn the lesson at hand. ~
Despite great trials, amidst great joy, and with much grace, I journey on. I am thankful for what God has taught me this season, what He is teaching me, and what I have yet to learn. God is faithful, lest I forget.
I am learning how the greatest fears in me are simply what I see in myself. God continues to shine light into the dark places in me. This is an altogether painful but beautiful process.
God is continually revealing the courage within me to chase lions and live dangerously in the will of God. I will no longer run from pain but learn to embrace it. In embracing pain I will learn what Jesus says in Matthew 14: 24-25, "Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. (The Message)
For the friends who continue with me on this journey, I cannot thank you enough. For those who have just joined me, thank you. For those who have parted ways, may God bless you and keep you.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Learning to Dance in the Rain
The last few days have been trying to say the least. God sure is answering my prayer to prune me. I am thinking now about how much I just want to be with Him. I used to think that people who said, "Jesus, hurry and bring your kingdom." were crazy. I thought,"I have not lived life yet and there are still things God promised me (I wanted) to do!" I considered how unfair of God to come back and interrupt my life. Yet, as I consider how this life must pale in comparison to the one to come, I realize how God is so much more just than I could ever imagine if he chose to interrupt my life by moving me on to the next.
I have been thinking about what it means to truly walk with God, in this life and what it might be like in the next. I just keep picturing a peaceful place. Like a distant island misted in rain-- but so beautiful! That is why if I am not careful I can make a functional heaven out of "vacation". But that is a different sermon for another day. Aside, if you are interested in this topic check out Pastor Mark Driscoll's sermon series Religion Saves.
Now back to my secluded island resplendent with cool beauty. Why do I picture it in the rain? I think because I feel so dry and scorched from the harsh brightness of the world that to picture it in the sun seems somehow wrong. Many times in the last few days I just want to give up. I am tired of trying and failing and trying and failing. I want to be where God promised me I would be but don't know how He is going to get me there. I picture the island today in a way that brings peace and joy to my weary soul mostly because God is there. He walks beside me as I smell the gentle rain coming I fear might ruin my otherwise "perfect" day at the beach. His hand holds mine when the thunder booms in the distance. His arm holds onto me as the lightning flashes come closer. The big drops of rain start splashing my face and hair and I forget about how wet my clothes will be. I hardly feel them anymore. All I know is that God is with me and surrounding me all at the same time. It is in this moment I realize, God is in the rain. I tip my head back as the water splashes my face and falls down over my lips so I taste the coolness of it. I begin to dance as I taste and feel and smell the goodness of God falling all around me. The sun starts to come out but only so I can see the rainbow in the sky reminding me that God will be with me and has been all along.
Though I am sure that this all sounds so sappy and maybe a little crazy to you, all this comes from the depth of my soul. I realize that the fruit that God wants me to bear is joy--deep, abiding joy, found only in Him. That is why I am not waiting for the storm to pass. I am learning to dance in the rain. Tonight I pray God sends me a sweet dream of the rain.
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for I will let praise him, my Savior, my God.
Psalm 42:11
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
John 15:10-11
I have been thinking about what it means to truly walk with God, in this life and what it might be like in the next. I just keep picturing a peaceful place. Like a distant island misted in rain-- but so beautiful! That is why if I am not careful I can make a functional heaven out of "vacation". But that is a different sermon for another day. Aside, if you are interested in this topic check out Pastor Mark Driscoll's sermon series Religion Saves.
Now back to my secluded island resplendent with cool beauty. Why do I picture it in the rain? I think because I feel so dry and scorched from the harsh brightness of the world that to picture it in the sun seems somehow wrong. Many times in the last few days I just want to give up. I am tired of trying and failing and trying and failing. I want to be where God promised me I would be but don't know how He is going to get me there. I picture the island today in a way that brings peace and joy to my weary soul mostly because God is there. He walks beside me as I smell the gentle rain coming I fear might ruin my otherwise "perfect" day at the beach. His hand holds mine when the thunder booms in the distance. His arm holds onto me as the lightning flashes come closer. The big drops of rain start splashing my face and hair and I forget about how wet my clothes will be. I hardly feel them anymore. All I know is that God is with me and surrounding me all at the same time. It is in this moment I realize, God is in the rain. I tip my head back as the water splashes my face and falls down over my lips so I taste the coolness of it. I begin to dance as I taste and feel and smell the goodness of God falling all around me. The sun starts to come out but only so I can see the rainbow in the sky reminding me that God will be with me and has been all along.
Though I am sure that this all sounds so sappy and maybe a little crazy to you, all this comes from the depth of my soul. I realize that the fruit that God wants me to bear is joy--deep, abiding joy, found only in Him. That is why I am not waiting for the storm to pass. I am learning to dance in the rain. Tonight I pray God sends me a sweet dream of the rain.
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for I will let praise him, my Savior, my God.
Psalm 42:11
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
John 15:10-11
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Pulling Weeds.
Today, as I was driving along listening Between Thieves, a band from way back in my high school days, I was suddenly transported back in time. I started thinking about a time in my life that was much simpler in many ways. With less responsibilities and more time than I will EVER have again, I was free to envision how my life might be used to glorify God. Back in those days I faithfully read my Bible, listened to Christian music, and dreamt about my life beyond the small town where I felt trapped. At least my best friend was there, Claudette. Oh how I thanked God for her companionship. We spent hours in her room listening to music and discussing our futures far away from the reaches of that little town.
I remember that person I once was and often envy her. This is a strange thing to say especially since that person was and is me. In some ways, I still see glimpses of that girl who attended concerts and conferences and dreamed about how God could use her life to glorify himself. I can honestly say I never in my wildest dreams would have seen where that journey has brought me today.
That girl from the past believed that she could truly change the world in Jesus' name. Sometimes I wonder if I really believe this to to be true in my heart of hearts. Don't get me wrong, that young girl still had a lot of selfishness that God had to work out of her and even now still has much to go in that regard.
I spent so much time hating that point in my life when Claudette graduated and moved away. We can never have those precious days back. The thing I remember so clearly about that time was how I looked with such expectant hope toward the future.
But as Jesus warned me in the parable of the sower (Matthew 13), the worries of the world have grown up like weeds and choked out the word, causing me to be unfruitful. Causing me to have a lack of joy.
Now, I cry out to the Father, the gardener (John 15) to help me pull up these weeds. This is a painful process I know but necessary for me to regain my vision completely. God is faithful even when I am not. He prunes my branches by cutting off what is dead so I can be even more fruitful (John 15:2) . I pray to the True Vine (Jesus) that he might graft me closer into him. I want to be fruitful in Christ, proving myself to be Christ's disciple and revealing God's glory to the world (John 15:8).
Because You also promise I am already clean because of the words You have spoken to me (John 15: 3), remind me of that time in my life when I was so full of hope and love.
I just can't move past these mistakes I've made
With every step I'm tripping as i try to walk away
I guess some kind of penance might ease my mind
The harder I try the more I find...
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
Why do I persist to ram my head against the wall?
Why do I pretend there's nothing wrong at all?
Sometimes I wonder why you still fight for me
It's a mystery
But whenever I'm in doubt...
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
All I have to do is live for you
And when I call upon your name
Your love remains
And like a child I will play despite the rain
Staring in the mirror I see more of you
The reflection of my hearts change
Now there is hope
Now there is peace
Your love has set me free free oh
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
All I have to do is live for you
And when I call upon your name
Your love remains
And like a child I will play despite the rain
I will play (3x)
Despite the rain
I remember that person I once was and often envy her. This is a strange thing to say especially since that person was and is me. In some ways, I still see glimpses of that girl who attended concerts and conferences and dreamed about how God could use her life to glorify himself. I can honestly say I never in my wildest dreams would have seen where that journey has brought me today.
That girl from the past believed that she could truly change the world in Jesus' name. Sometimes I wonder if I really believe this to to be true in my heart of hearts. Don't get me wrong, that young girl still had a lot of selfishness that God had to work out of her and even now still has much to go in that regard.
I spent so much time hating that point in my life when Claudette graduated and moved away. We can never have those precious days back. The thing I remember so clearly about that time was how I looked with such expectant hope toward the future.
But as Jesus warned me in the parable of the sower (Matthew 13), the worries of the world have grown up like weeds and choked out the word, causing me to be unfruitful. Causing me to have a lack of joy.
Now, I cry out to the Father, the gardener (John 15) to help me pull up these weeds. This is a painful process I know but necessary for me to regain my vision completely. God is faithful even when I am not. He prunes my branches by cutting off what is dead so I can be even more fruitful (John 15:2) . I pray to the True Vine (Jesus) that he might graft me closer into him. I want to be fruitful in Christ, proving myself to be Christ's disciple and revealing God's glory to the world (John 15:8).
Because You also promise I am already clean because of the words You have spoken to me (John 15: 3), remind me of that time in my life when I was so full of hope and love.
Despite the Rain By Between Thieves
I just can't move past these mistakes I've made
With every step I'm tripping as i try to walk away
I guess some kind of penance might ease my mind
The harder I try the more I find...
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
Why do I persist to ram my head against the wall?
Why do I pretend there's nothing wrong at all?
Sometimes I wonder why you still fight for me
It's a mystery
But whenever I'm in doubt...
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
All I have to do is live for you
And when I call upon your name
Your love remains
And like a child I will play despite the rain
Staring in the mirror I see more of you
The reflection of my hearts change
Now there is hope
Now there is peace
Your love has set me free free oh
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
All I have to do is live for you
And when I call upon your name
Your love remains
And like a child I will play despite the rain
I will play (3x)
Despite the rain
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Beautiful Bride.
Watch the Flyleaf video for Beautiful Bride. It says it all.
I love this song. It plays in my head (and usually cranked up all the way in my car) as I drive to Bible study to spend time with my sisters. I love my sisters.
It plays in my head when we take a friend out to dinner to help her remember her joy for one evening. Did I mention I love my sisters?
It plays in my head when I participate in a memorial service for a sister who has gone on to be with the Lord. I love my family.
It plays in my head when I drive to church on Saturday night or Sunday morning to spend time celebrating God's goodness with fellow believers. I love my brothers and sisters.
I love the body, the bride of Christ. How beautiful the body is when we function as one.
1 Corinthians 12:12 "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ."
But as I said, Flyleaf says it quite well.
Beautified diversity
Functioning as one body
Every part encouraged by the other
No one independent of another
You're irreplaceable
Indespensable,
You're incredible
You're incredible
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Strengthen your arms now
Train your fingers for battle
Urgency's here now
Train your fingers for battle
Fighting this violence
With your feet wrapped in peace
Sad tears and silence
Now screams of joy
Victory
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
We're not gonna fall and forget
How far you went to pick us up
If one parts hurt the whole bodys sick
If one part mourns we all mourn with Him
Rejoice, we'll sing with you
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Functioning as one body
Every part encouraged by the other
No one independent of another
You're irreplaceable
Indespensable,
You're incredible
You're incredible
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Strengthen your arms now
Train your fingers for battle
Urgency's here now
Train your fingers for battle
Fighting this violence
With your feet wrapped in peace
Sad tears and silence
Now screams of joy
Victory
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
We're not gonna fall and forget
How far you went to pick us up
If one parts hurt the whole bodys sick
If one part mourns we all mourn with Him
Rejoice, we'll sing with you
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride
Flyleaf, Beautiful Bride
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