Pulling Weeds.

Today, as I was driving along listening Between Thieves, a band from way back in my high school days, I was suddenly transported back in time. I started thinking about a time in my life that was much simpler in many ways. With less responsibilities and more time than I will EVER have again, I was free to envision how my life might be used to glorify God. Back in those days I faithfully read my Bible, listened to Christian music, and dreamt about my life beyond the small town where I felt trapped. At least my best friend was there, Claudette. Oh how I thanked God for her companionship. We spent hours in her room listening to music and discussing our futures far away from the reaches of that little town.
I remember that person I once was and often envy her. This is a strange thing to say especially since that person was and is me. In some ways, I still see glimpses of that girl who attended concerts and conferences and dreamed about how God could use her life to glorify himself. I can honestly say I never in my wildest dreams would have seen where that journey has brought me today.
That girl from the past believed that she could truly change the world in Jesus' name. Sometimes I wonder if I really believe this to to be true in my heart of hearts. Don't get me wrong, that young girl still had a lot of selfishness that God had to work out of her and even now still has much to go in that regard.
I spent so much time hating that point in my life when Claudette graduated and moved away. We can never have those precious days back. The thing I remember so clearly about that time was how I looked with such expectant hope toward the future.
But as Jesus warned me in the parable of the sower (Matthew 13), the worries of the world have grown up like weeds and choked out the word, causing me to be unfruitful. Causing me to have a lack of joy.
Now, I cry out to the Father, the gardener (John 15) to help me pull up these weeds. This is a painful process I know but necessary for me to regain my vision completely. God is faithful even when I am not. He prunes my branches by cutting off what is dead so I can be even more fruitful (John 15:2) . I pray to the True Vine (Jesus) that he might graft me closer into him. I want to be fruitful in Christ, proving myself to be Christ's disciple and revealing God's glory to the world (John 15:8).

Because You also promise I am already clean because of the words You have spoken to me (John 15: 3), remind me of that time in my life when I was so full of hope and love.

Despite the Rain By Between Thieves

I just can't move past these mistakes I've made
With every step I'm tripping as i try to walk away
I guess some kind of penance might ease my mind
The harder I try the more I find...
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
Why do I persist to ram my head against the wall?
Why do I pretend there's nothing wrong at all?
Sometimes I wonder why you still fight for me
It's a mystery
But whenever I'm in doubt...
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
All I have to do is live for you
And when I call upon your name
Your love remains
And like a child I will play despite the rain
Staring in the mirror I see more of you
The reflection of my hearts change
Now there is hope
Now there is peace
Your love has set me free free oh
All I have to do is look to you
And I will never be the same
My life's been changed
And like a child I will play despite the rain
All I have to do is live for you
And when I call upon your name
Your love remains
And like a child I will play despite the rain
I will play (3x)
Despite the rain