"Shine your light and let the whole world see.."

Today is better than Saturday night. Let's just say Trev and I didn't agree. It was part selfishness and partly constantly trying to understand each other. I am still trying to figure out what my role is in friendships, my marriage, at work, etc.
Work is one of those places where I just don't feel like I fit in. I just don't feel like my co-workers really care about me as a person, what I do, etc. Don't know why this bothers me now, never really has before. And it likely may be MY fault. Lately, I just feel like I am very snippy with patients who are demanding (calling EVERY FIVE MINUTES for whatever). I want to be a light for Christ wherever I am but I'm just not. I struggle a lot with who I am. As prayed about this Saturday night, I confessed my bad attitude. God reinforced that I make him happy NOW by just being me.
Isaiah 62 is the place where God always brings me back to. God says I "have a new name given by GOD himself." And I will "be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand." He "rejoices over me!"
I felt a little better but drew Trev in an argument and was still upset by Sunday morning at church. We came in late to a song that says


Song: Mighty to Save
Everyone needs compassion,
And love that never fails,
Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness,
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of nations

(Chorus:)
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My god is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again

I give my life to follow
Everything that i’d believe in
Now i surrender (and i surrender)

(Chorusx2)

(Bridge:)
Shine a light in and let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king

(Chorus)

(Bridge:)


When I got to the bridge I couldn't sing it. The tears started because I want so badly to be that light at work but just can't find the balance. Either I'm snippy and rude or I get run over. God still encourages me with His word in Isaiah but I still feel like there has to be something more I can do at work. I don't know if any of this makes sense. Probably doesn't. Just pray for me as God sorts it out.