Monday, August 07, 2006

Come

I have found that lately I am guilty of thinking too much.
I have always been a thinker. For instance, when I worked those long days at the pool as a lifeguard, my friend, Todd, would often comment, "What are you thinking about?" I would ask him how he knew I was thinking about something. He would comment on how my eyes and face seemed to say to him that I was often pondering something. What he didn't know was that I was half praying, half thinking most of the time.

Thinking.
I wonder lately I am thinking more than I am praying.
I think more than I talk to God about the constant struggles right now with life. Struggles, that are chances to see more of my Saviour, if I choose to see them that way. As of late, some things are never far from my mind. I often try to block them out, I guess in some way hoping they are not real. I do know there is very real hurt. I do know that God is working. I know that NO MATTER WHAT God will be glorified.
It is also difficult to focus when so many things are going on. My mind is like this computer. Right now I have about four different windows open. I am listening to music, checking movie times, writing this post, checking myspace, all simultaneously. God is calling me to leave his "window" open throughout my busy day. At some point, I long for the opportunity to shut the other "windows" and focus on him. I must pray for those opportunities.
God is making me daily. He knows and loves who I am but he wants so much more. He also sees the body of believers and wants to make them. Whoa to me if I stand in the way of God's making.

So I go back to questioning myself. Are you thinking or are you praying? God calls me to come.

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